So, here's the cover to my next book, "Finding Home". It's a Home Series novel that tells the story of Brandon and Mandy and takes place during the same time as "Carry Me Home". It should be out soon!
Monday, December 15, 2014
Monday, December 8, 2014
Chapter One of "Finding Home" (Brandon & Mandy's story)
The first draft of Finding Home, the fifth book in The Home Series is done! It is a companion novel to Carry Me Home and takes place at the same time as book three. It tells the story of how Brandon & Mandy come together and it also sets up for the last Home book, which will tell Gracie's (Jesse & Riley's daughter) story. I've always liked Brandon and Mandy as secondary characters and I've had fun writing a story where they're the focus. It should be available in full very soon. Until then...here's a sneak peek at the first chapter. (Please forgive any tyops...this draft is still ROUGH!) Thanks!
Finding Home
The Home Series: Book Five
One
Summer in Kansas is
hot. Not just hot, but blazing hot, and
muggy too. The sun beats down
relentlessly until you think your skin might boil, like literally peel off. Sometimes I thought about what it would be
like to live somewhere else…someplace cool or at least not as humid. Humidity was not a friend to my wavy blonde
hair. It either made it frizz like I’d
stuck my finger in a light socket or coil up like Shirley Temple. Either way, it was one more trait to add to
the very long list of my undesirable ones.
My thighs had always been too thick, tree trunks I called them, and
while some girls would dream of a chest like mine, I’d always hated it. It wasn’t huge, but it was definitely more
ample than I would’ve picked for myself.
They were just a pain, a nuisance really, but there wasn’t anything I
could do about it, unless, of course, I decided on a breast reduction someday
and I was too much of a baby to undergo voluntary surgery.
I
was short too. Not freakishly short, but
short enough to make me look like a box and prevent me from being able to reach
things on the top shelf of the grocery store, or my own kitchen cabinets for
that matter, as I was doing at the moment.
I was on my tippy-toes, stretching as far as I could for a Tupperware
container on the top shelf. I finally
gave up though and slid a stool over. I
grabbed a dish, but I knew it’d be a miracle if I actually found a matching
lid. I felt a bead of sweat slide down
between my boobs and I just sighed. The
damn heat. Our overworked air
conditioner was having a heck of time trying to keep up and it didn’t help
matters that I’d had the oven going at 400 degrees for the past thirty
minutes. The kitchen felt more like a
sweat lodge and I hoped maybe the sweltering heat would melt some of the fat
from my thighs.
I
finally found a lid and climbed off the stool just as the timer went off.
The
cookies looked awesome, just like I knew they would, when I pulled them from
the oven. The melting chocolate chips
had that delicious gleam you can only see just as they’re done baking and they
hit the air outside of the oven. I wanted
to bite into one right away to see that gooey chocolate string clinging desperately
between the piece in my mouth and the remainder being pulled away by my
hand. I couldn’t do that though because
these cookies were for Brandon, not for me.
They
needed to cool before I could put them away so I went over to the sink to clean
up my mess before my parents got home from another one of their activities at
church. They were sticklers for order,
and everything else for that matter, and if they saw a mess after one of my
baking ventures, they’d probably ban me for life from the kitchen. I just sighed as I scrubbed the mixing bowl
I’d used and set it in the drain pan. I
hated living at home still. I’d just
turned twenty-one and I prayed soon I’d be able to get my own place. It didn’t have to be anything fancy, but at
least it’d be away from their tyranny.
I’d always been described as the funny girl, the ditzy girl who made
people laugh and it was sometimes hard to keep my positive outlook with two
parents who could only be described as sticks in the mud.
“Why’s
it so hot in here?” I turned from the sink to see my younger sister, Shay, walk
inside. She looked annoyed and hot as
she set her violin case on the table.
“Sorry. I just finished baking cookies,” I said,
turning back to my dishes as she walked over to the fridge and took a long swig
of orange juice straight from the container.
“It’s
like 100 degrees out there. I thought I’d get some relief in here. The air conditioning is broken at Mr.
Fielding’s house,” she said, referring to her violin teacher. Shay had practice twice a week with him. She was an amazing violinist, but I never
knew if she actually liked playing or if she just stuck with it because our
parents basically made her. There was no
denying my sister was gifted musically and they were determined to see her do
something with it and actually make something of herself, unlike me: a lowly
waitress and community college student who’d probably die in Carver.
“I
said I was sorry.”
“You
know how miserable it gets in here when you bake, Mandy,” Shay continued to groan
and I had to bite my tongue.
“What
do you want me to do, Shay? I can’t undo
the baking.”
“Why
are you baking cookies, anyway?” She walked over and grabbed one from the
cookie sheet before I could stop her.
“They’re
for Brandon,” I said and she nodded.
“That
totally sucks what happened to him.”
“It
more than sucks,” I said, looking over to my sister. I don’t think she understood what he was
dealing with. I didn’t really expect her
to though, being sixteen and completely consumed with her own life. She’d always been like that though. I loved my sister, but she pretty much
thought the sun and the moon revolved around her and could rarely be bothered
to concern herself with the troubles of others.
“Is
he okay?” she asked and I was surprised at the concern on her face.
“He
says he is. I’ve only seen him once
since he’s been home. His mom invited me
over for dinner tonight though.”
“Hence,
the cookies,” she said, grabbing another one, but this time I slapped her hand
and she dropped it. “I’m gonna go take a shower to get all this nasty off
me. You’d better pick up this mess or
you know Mom and Dad are gonna kick your butt.”
She
disappeared upstairs and I was glad to see her go as I finished up the dishes;
washing, drying, and putting everything away in its place. I put the cookies in the Tupperware and
turned to look at the kitchen. Sparking
clean, just like my parents expected.
It
was almost five o’clock and Mrs. Seaver asked me to be there at
five-thirty. I needed a shower too, but
Shay was still hogging the bathroom we had to share. There was another bathroom in my parents’
room, but we’d never been allowed to use it.
I settled for body spray that smelled like cucumbers and melons to
freshen up and I changed into a white sundress.
Looking in the mirror, I realized my hair was hopeless. If I pulled it up, it’d look like a giant
puff ball, so I chose to leave it down instead, long and curly to the middle of my back, running some argon
oil over it, hoping to tame some of the fly-aways. I went back downstairs, grabbed the cookies
and went outside to my crappy car, a 2001 white Honda Civic. I’d scrounged up enough money to buy it a few
years ago and even though it had nearly 200,000 miles and was in desperate need
of a paint job, it got me where I needed to go and that, along with the fact
that the a/c worked, was all that mattered.
I turned it on, put it in drive and headed to Brandon’s house.
Brandon
Seaver had been one of my best friends practically my entire life. I doubted anyone had a group of friends
better than mine, which made it even harder when they all left. For the most part, we’d known each other
since kindergarten. The only exception
was Riley. She’d shown up during our
senior year from Boston. She was one of
those girls who you see walking down the street and instantly makes you feel
like a troll. She was tall with one of
those perfect bodies that almost makes you sick…thin with just enough curves to
keep her from looking like one of those airbrushed freaky models you see in
magazines. Her thick dark hair that hung
down her back and olive skin set her apart from everyone else in Carver. There was no denying she was stuck-up at
first, but I liked her for some reason and she ended up fitting in with our
group, especially after she and Jesse got together.
Jesse
was another story entirely. He was
probably the most decent guy I’d ever met and just like Riley, too good looking
for his own good. Once they ended up
together, I pretty much thought they’d get married someday and have
ridiculously beautiful children with the world’s most perfect hair and live
happily ever after. However, happily
ever after they lived not. The summer
after graduation changed everything. His
dad died unexpectedly and Jesse changed.
We all watched as he spiraled into someone we didn’t know, eventually
joining the Marines and breaking Riley’s heart.
We hadn’t seen him since.
Shortly
after Jesse left, Riley and Holly headed to K-State. Holly was probably the most grounded one of
our group. She’d always been that way
though. Friendly and accepting, which is
how Riley ended up with us in the first place.
Laura
stayed around for the first year after graduation, going to the community
college with me, but then she got the itch to hightail it out of Carver and
picked up and moved in with her cousin in Tulsa. I was sad to see Laura go since she was all
that remained in Carver of our group, but I didn’t miss her as much as the
others. She loved to point out my
mistakes or roll her eyes at one of the many stupid things I was known to
say. I knew I was an airhead. Everyone knew that, but Laura liked to draw
attention to it. All.The.Time. It was annoying, so when she moved to Tulsa,
I was kinda relieved, although I’d never tell anyone that.
And
then there was Brandon. He was the first
to leave. He’d joined the army and I
still missed his stupid jokes. He was
one of those people you don’t know why you’re friends with, but also can’t
imagine not having in your life. He was
crude, inappropriate, and tactless, but also totally hilarious. He made me laugh like no one else, so when I
got the call that he’d been injured in a roadside attack in Afghanistan and
lost his leg, I was devastated.
That
had been almost a year ago and now he was finally home.
I
don’t know why I was so nervous when I pulled up to his house. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen Brandon since
he’d been home. Riley and I had come to
see him about a week before and it had been easier than I thought it would
be. Maybe I was nervous now because I
was here by myself or maybe it was because I knew I’d probably say something
stupid. I always did. It was what I was known for. I’d open my mouth and say something, not
realizing it was probably not the best choice of words once they were out and couldn’t
be taken back. I always told myself I
had to stop being such an idiot, but I knew it was probably something I’d never
be able to change.
Pushing
the nerves aside, I grabbed the cookies and walked up to the front door. I’d always liked coming to Brandon’s
house. It was yellow and cheery and the
yellow ribbon tied around the porch railing was still there. Mrs. Seaver had put it there when Brandon
left for his first tour in Afghanistan and I wondered if she’d take it down now
that he was home.
Mrs.
Seaver was like the mom everyone dreamed of having, like one of the mother’s
from the old black and white TV shows, definitely the polar opposite of my own
mother. She was always happy and she
never raised her voice, which was a feat in itself considering her son was one
of the most obnoxious people I’d ever met.
He was always saying something inappropriate and Mrs. Seaver would just
shake her head and ignore him. I think she
had to do that to keep her sanity.
I’d
come over and visit with her sometimes after he left for the army, especially
after his accident. It was hard watching
her because she was so scared for Brandon.
I never saw her cry though. She
came close, but I think she was trying to save her tears because like she’d
told me on more than one occasion, at least her son was alive.
I
rang the doorbell and she greeted me, smiling like always.
“Mandy,
honey,” she said, pulling me in for a hug. “I’m so glad you could make it.”
“Thanks
for having me. Here,” I said, handing
her the Tupperware. “I made these.
Oatmeal chocolate chip.”
“You
didn’t have to do that, but thank you,” she said as I stepped inside. I loved this house. It was always so put together, but not so
much that it didn’t seem lived in like in my own house. It always smelled good too. Today, it smelled
like lemons.
I
could hear chatter and laughter and I don’t know why, but it made me
smile. It was just so different than my
own house. I followed Mrs. Seaver down
the hall and when we reached the kitchen, I was greeted by Brandon’s whole
family. I hadn’t seen them all together
in a long time. Brandon’s two sisters
were a lot older than us, so I didn’t know them very well. Brandon always told us the age difference
between him and sisters was so big because his parents realized the older his
sisters got, the more disappointed they were and decided they needed to try
once more to obtain perfection. He
insisted they hadn’t had any more children after him because they had achieved
that perfection. I knew he’d been
kidding, but knowing Brandon, I also figured part of him actually believed
it.
They
were all together though now and I noticed how happy they all seemed. Brandon sat on the couch, his little nephew
on his lap, while his sister, Jennifer and her husband took up the remaining
cushions. His other sister, Nicole, was
pouring a drink and Mr. Seaver was leaning against the counter, dipping a
carrot into ranch dressing. They all
looked at me when I walked in and the way his sisters smiled at me helped ease
my nerves, but when Brandon smiled at me, I finally relaxed.
He
seemed so much like the Brandon I’d always known, even though inside, he had to
be very different, even if he was acting like he wasn’t. His light brown hair was cut shorter than
he’d ever worn it before joining the army and he still had the pretty blue eyes
I’d always envied. Any girl would kill
for his thick eyelashes and he hated when I’d tease him about them. When he saw me, his mouth curled up into a
smirk. Not a bad smirk, but a Brandon
smirk. That was just how he was. Sarcastic and annoying, but very loveable
too.
“Hi,”
I said cheerfully, waving to everyone.
They
all greeted me back and his sisters came over and hugged me. I settled into the recliner next to the
couch.
“Couldn’t
pass up a free meal?” Brandon said, leaning over to me after his nephew had
bolted from his lap to go watch cartoons on his tablet.
“Your
mom invited me,” I said, rolling my eyes at him. “She likes me, even if you
don’t. I can go if you want me to.”
“Hey,”
he said in the typical over dramatic Brandon fashion. “I like you. You make good cookies and stuff. Is that what I saw in my mom’s hands?” I
nodded and he smiled. “Then you can definitely stay.”
“You
only want me for my cookies?” I asked and he started laughing. “What?”
“Sounds
a little dirty, don’t you think?” I just rolled my eyes and started laughing
too, suddenly relaxing. This was the
Brandon I’d always known and he was back and I don’t think I could ever recall
a time I was happier.
****
Dinner
was delicious and sitting around the table with Brandon’s family was even nicer
than I’d expected. I knew they were all
relieved to have him home and safe and they went around the table telling funny
stories from their childhood. I couldn’t
stop laughing when Jennifer showed me a picture of Brandon all dolled up in a
dress and high heels, complete with a strand of pearls and bright red
lipstick. He looked about
three-years-old and his sisters appeared to have had a great time playing dress
up with their little brother. While we
were all laughing, Brandon looked annoyed, but he just ignored us.
His
sisters left shortly after dinner. They
both lived in Wichita and had to get home.
I helped Mrs. Seaver clean up while Brandon and his dad played a game of
table tennis on the back porch. When we
were done, we joined them outside just as they were finishing their game. Brandon moved so easily, shifting his weight
effortlessly between each foot as he hit the ball back and forth. You’d never know just by looking at him that
his left leg was missing from the knee down.
I
hadn’t known what to expect when Riley and I first came to see him the week
before. He was wearing jeans then too,
but after he caught Riley staring at the denim caving in around the prosthesis,
he’d shown it to us. I could still see
the silly grin he’d had on his face as he sat in the living room, him in the
recliner and Riley and me across from him.
Wanna see it? He’d
said and then, before we could respond, he’d lifted up his pant leg, revealing
the prosthesis. He’d tapped it and said,
This thing is state of the art. The best there is out there. I’m practically normal wearing this thing. And watching him now, he did seem perfectly
normal.
Brandon
cheered excitedly as he smacked the ball across the table. It zoomed past his dad and landed in a potted
plant a few feet away and Brandon slammed his paddle down in victory.
“I’m
calling it quits,” his dad said, admitting defeat by placing his paddle down on
the table.
“You
don’t want a rematch, Dad?” Brandon taunted as he walked past his dad and
fished the ping pong ball out of the plant.
“No,
son, I do not. I’d rather have a gin and
tonic.” He patted Brandon on the back and then pulled him in for a quick hug
before heading into the house.
“What
about you, Mandy? Can I interest you in
a game?” Brandon asked me and I nodded, standing up and taking the paddle Mr.
Seaver had left on the table. “Just be prepared to have your ass handed to
you.”
“Brandon. Watch the language,” Mrs. Seaver said and she
shot him a warning look. She hated when
he used bad language and I couldn’t help but think it was a good thing she
couldn’t hear him when she wasn’t around.
I was surprised Brandon hadn’t joined the navy because he could
definitely put a sailor to shame.
“Sorry,
Mandy. Be prepared to have your hiney
handed to you.”
“I
don’t know why I even bother.” Mrs. Seaver sighed and headed inside, but not
before kissing him on the cheek.
“I
see you haven’t changed much,” I said as Brandon rolled the ball to me so I
could serve. “Still as sarcastic as ever.”
“Would
you want me to change?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I shook my head.
“You
are one of the biggest pains in the butts I’ve ever met, but I wouldn’t change
you.”
“Good
answer, Mand.”
“Did
you expect anything less, Brand?” I grinned and then hit the ball to him, which
he promptly hit back with such force I didn’t even attempt to hit it back and I
watched as it bounced away into the grass.
“C’mon,
Mandy! You didn’t even try,” he groaned
and I laid the paddle down and held up my hands in defeat, setting it back
down.
“Because
I suck. I’m not gonna stand here and get
annihilated and listen to your trash talking.”
“I
wouldn’t trash talk you,” he said, following me and sitting down.
“You
would. You trash talk everyone.”
“How
would you know?”
“Because
I’ve known you since we were five.”
“But
you’ve hardly seen me in the last three years.
Perhaps I’ve changed.”
“You
haven’t changed,” I laughed. “You’re still the same jackass you’ve always
been.”
“Hey,”
he said, jerking his head back. “That offends me, Mandy.”
“No,
it doesn’t.”
“Why
don’t you show some respect? I am a
wounded war veteran and a crippled one at that.” I cringed, thinking I might’ve
actually offended him, but when I looked over and he was grinning one of his
stupid grins and I knew he wasn’t.
“You’re
so full of crap, Brandon.”
“I
won’t deny that,” he said and then it got quiet for a moment before he looked
at me, his eyebrow raising and his head cocked to the side. “Wanna go for a
ride?”
“Where
to?”
“I
dunno. I’ve been cooped up here since I
got home and I just wanna get out.”
“Okay,”
I said, standing up. I watched as
Brandon stood up. He stumbled a little
bit once he was on his feet, but I doubt I would’ve noticed had I not been
looking for it.
“Lemme
just grab my wallet,” he said and I followed him inside and down the hall to
his room. I knew Mrs. Seaver had changed
it into a guest room pretty quickly after he left for the army, but I had to
hold back my laughter when I saw it. I
had a hard time imaging Brandon sleeping in it.
Brandon’s room had been covered in football posters and bikini
models. His bed was never made and it
usually smelled too. There was always this mystery aroma about it and then
Brandon would look under the bed and find a half-eaten sandwich or an apple
core or something, discovering the source of the stench. He was a definite slob and the room now was a
far cry from what I’d remembered. The
bed was covered in a frilly floral quilt and there was a fake flower arrangement
sitting on a doily in the window. It
smelled good too, like lavender.
“Nice
room,” I snickered as he slid his wallet into his back pocket.
“Zip
it, Mandy,” he glared.
“It’s
very masculine,” I continued and he eventually cracked a smile.
“I’m
surprised at you. You were always the
nice one of our group.”
“Still
am.”
He
didn’t say anything else as he walked by and after we said goodbye to his
parents, we headed outside to my car.
“I
see you’re still driving this P.O.S.,” he said, pulling on the handle and
sitting down in the passenger seat.
“And
I see you’re still not driving anything,” I smirked as I started my P.O.S. and
pulled out of the driveway.
“Well
played, Miss Dalton,” he said and I glanced over to him quickly. He was smiling at me and I smiled back.
“Where’re
we headed?”
“Just
drive,” he said, rolling down the window and then reaching down to the radio
dial and cranking up the volume.
I
did as he said and just kept driving.
Brandon leaned his head back, the warm summer air blowing over his
skin. His eyes were closed, but there
was a little smile on his face. He
looked content and I wondered what he was thinking about.
“Are
you okay?” I finally asked.
“Yeah.The
wind just feels good. It was so damn hot
today,” he sighed and then he breathed in deeply. “I’ve missed the way Kansas
smells.”
I inhaled as well, but all I smelled was the
musty upholstery of my old car.
“And
how exactly does Kansas smell?”
“Like
home,” he said, taking in another deep breath and I don’t know why, but I got
choked up at his words. I’d never left
home so I’d never had a chance to miss it.
Brandon had though and he’d almost never got the chance to come home
again.
We
drove silently for a while until I pulled the car up to Slate Creek. There were a few other cars there, which
didn’t surprise me. Entertainment was
scarce in Carver and we resorted to sitting in parked cars as ways to have
fun. We used to come to Slate Creek a
lot. There’s nothing really special
about it, just picnic tables along the creek.
Creek was actually a deceptive word, because it was more like a small
river that eventually poured into Rome Lake.
What I loved about it was the small waterfall that spanned the length of
the creek. Water spilled over the slate
rocks making the black rocks smooth and shiny.
I
stopped the car once we’d got to the edge of the creek and turned off the
engine, but left the key turned a notch so the radio stayed on. Brandon reached down and turned it up when he
heard the beginning of Eric Church’s Give
Me Back My Hometown.
“I
love this song,” he said, tapping his finger to the beat on his thigh. I watched as he bobbed his head and started
singing along, his voice surprisingly good.
“These sleepy street lights on
every sidewalk, side street, shed a light on everything that used to be. Give
me back my hometown. This is my
hometown. His foot started tapping
too and then he reached over to the knob and turned up the volume even more
before stepping out of the car without saying a word. He walked in front of the car and then
stopped by my door, opening it and holding his hand out to me.
“I
feel like dancing,” he said and I just looked up at him and started laughing.
“Well,
I don’t.”
“C’mon,”
he whined and reached down for my hand. “You can’t turn a guy down.” I looked
up at him and just shook my head. “C’mon, Mandy. Dance with me.”
“In
front of all these people?”
“All
these people? There are like three cars
here. And what does it matter
anyway? You’ve gotta live for now
because you don’t know if you’re gonna have a tomorrow.”
He
had his usual lighthearted grin on his face, but there was a sincerity behind
his blue eyes that told me he meant what he said, and I relented, placing my
hand in his and stepping out of the car.
Before I had a chance to compose myself, his hand wrapped around me and
he pulled me to him so close, we were touching.
I cringed thinking about my chest pressed against him, but he didn’t
seem to mind as he took my hand with his free one and started swaying to the
beat. He seemed light on his feet. I don’t know why it surprised me. I guess I just didn’t expect him to move the
way he did. I had no frame of reference
though. I’d never danced with
Brandon. We’d gone to a few dances in
high school as a group together, but in all that time, he’d never asked me to
dance. I wasn’t the kind of girl boys
asked to dance, especially not guys like Brandon. I knew the kind of girls he liked…the
impossibly beautiful ones. That
definitely wasn’t me.
“When
did you become such a good dancer?” he asked as spun me, pulling me back to
him.
“I’ve
always been a good dancer. You just
never took the time to notice,” I said playfully and he smiled, spinning me
again.
“My
loss.” He smiled at me and for the next
couple of minutes we just danced and it felt good to be this close to him after
I’d feared I’d never see him again. I
was disappointed when the song started to fade and was replaced by a commercial
for the local Ford dealership. He let me
go and leaned into the window, turning down the volume so the announcer’s voice
was barely audible. “I listened to that song a lot when I was in the
hospital. I can’t believe I actually
missed this shithole.”
“Why
am I the only person who doesn’t hate Carver?” I asked as we started walking
towards the creek, stopping on the edge and sitting down. I slid my sandals off and put my feet in the
water, kicking my feet gently so it splashed up at us. Brandon was still standing and when I looked
up, I suddenly felt guilty that I could dip my toes in the water. I hadn’t given it a second thought, but now
that I was, my feet stopped.
“I
don’t hate Carver.” He sat down next to me, but then leaned back onto the
grass, resting his hands behind his head and staring up at the sky. I leaned back too.
“Since
when? You wanted to get out of this town
worse than anybody.”
“Since
I almost didn’t come home.”
The
quiet that settled between us was uncomfortable and I turned my head toward
him. He was still looking up at the sky
and I felt a knot form in my throat.
“I’m
sorry. I always say the wrong thing.”
My
voice was quiet, but he turned his head so our eyes met and his lips curled
into a little smile.
“No,
you don’t.”
“Yes,
I do,” I insisted. “I just open my mouth and it comes spewing out. I’m the queen of word vomit. You’d think I would’ve outgrown it by now.”
“I
hope you never outgrow it. It’s actually
one of the things I love most about you.”
I don’t know why, but I felt my cheeks redden and I looked away, my eyes
staring up at the stars again.
“I
was afraid you were gonna die,” I said softly and then I felt his hand take
mine. It was warm and surprisingly
soft.
“Me
too.” His voice was shaky and when I
glanced over to him again, his eyes were closed and I wondered what he was
thinking about. His brow was creased and
I knew his thoughts were not peaceful ones.
He looked scared and when he opened his eyes, I knew he was. “Sometimes
I think I should’ve died.”
“Don’t
say that,” I interrupted quickly.
“I
wonder why I’m still here and they’re not.” I watched his throat as it bobbed
from a hard swallow.
“You’re
here because you’re supposed to be here.”
“That’s
bullshit. I’m here because I’m lucky and
they weren’t.”
By
the look on his face, I knew he was serious.
He believed it was all luck when I knew it wasn’t.
“It
wasn’t luck, Brandon. You’re here
because you’re supposed to be here.” I was trying to choke back the tears. I’d always been a sap and cried at the drop
of a hat, but the tears I was fighting this time were real. I didn’t want my friend to think it was just
chance that he was still alive.
“You
can think that, Mandy, but I don’t.”
“Why
don’t you believe it?”
“Because
the other guys were better than me.So much better.Harper had a wife and two
kids. Foster only had a couple of months
left. He was gonna be a doctor, but
they’re gone and I’m still here. They’re
dead and a cocky asshole like me isn’t.”
My
eyes filled with tears as I listened to Brandon, but I bit them back and looked
right into his eyes.
“I’m
so sorry about your friends,” I said and then squeezed his hand tightly. “But,
I’m glad my friend is still here. Their
lives were no more valuable than yours.”
He
didn’t say anything, but he looked away, turning his eyes back to the sky. He pulled his hand from mine and I wondered
if he was mad at me.
“I
don’t know what you’re going through,” I said quietly. “But if you need
anything, I’m here, okay?”
“I
know,” he answered just as quietly. “You’re always taking care of
everyone.” He stopped talking and he sat
up, looking down at me. “I’m glad you’re here, Mandy. I missed you.”
I
sat up too and I leaned in, hugging him tightly as his arms wrapped around me
too.
“I
missed you too.”
When
we let go of each other, we leaned back into the grass, listening to the
flowing water of Slate Creek and the humming of the radio. We didn’t say anything else. We didn’t need to, but then I felt him take
my hand again and he moved his body a little closer to mine. He was home and he was safe. I just hoped he realized how happy I was
about that.
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